Boy Scouts

sometimes pretend to be men.

I was never a Boy Scout. I think my parents took me to one meeting when I was 10, and then promptly told me that I was not going to like it (It was also a long drive). Sure, my friends were in it. They talked about their retreats, the things they did. Oh, the fun they must have had. But, looking back, I'm kinda glad I didn't do it. Its just not my style. Too organized, too tradition bound, and just a little too silly.

So, why then did I sign up for a job where I was going to not only be surrounded by Boy Scouts 24/7, but also be expected to act like one too? I have no idea, it must have seemed like a good thing when I was planning my summer. Make money, see exotic places, meet exotic people, that kinda thing. Whatever, its over.

Anyways, I came to the conclusion just a while ago that Boy Scouts are not always the saints that they are made out to be. Most of them are riotous pranksters, almost all of them are pyros. Some enjoy helping others, but some take joy in denying participants even the slightest of pleasantries. Some are douches. Some are assholes. Some are "Boy Scouts". Some are girls. Its a damn mixed bag.

Take for instance, Jeffery, an Order of the Arrow Trail Crew leader. His job is to lead kids on a 14 day trek, where they build trails and go on hikes and stuff. He's the All-American type, never has a harsh word to say to anyone, always smiling, humble, and yet has done a great deal for his community. Oh, and he's both an Eagle Scout and a member of the Order of the Arrow. So, lets just say he is what people imagine when they think "Boy Scout".

Then take a man nicknamed, Kentucky. The man does not think before he speaks, curses as much as he breathes, and is generally a braggart and fool. He is a sexist and hates anyone who is not white, Protestant, or from America. He is a man who eats like a horse and looks like a pig. He will in one breath proclaim the glory of working in the outdoors, and in the next sigh as he decides that he just wants to sit and watch the rest toil. When I think Boy Scout, I do not think of him. And yet, he is one.

There are those who are gun rights advocates, those who carry ACLU memberships in their back pockets, those who love to cook and clean, those who love the roar of a chainsaw as they disappear in a cloud of wood chips, those who are fat, and those who are so skinny you wonder if they have done nothing but sit in front of a screen for hours on end each and ever day, those who are rebels, those who are model citizens, those who are fools, and those who are geniuses. When I look at the Boy Scouts, I realize, I am looking at what is American humanity. A cross section of the populace.

However, I always assumed that a Boy Scout was at least a little more honest than the rest of us. This of course, turns out to not be the case. At the end of every season at Philmont, the number of thefts sky rockets. Tents can not be locked, lockers can be easily broken into, and people leave their belongings in the open. And, of course, there are opportunists in the midst. In one way, I always thought my stuff was safer, because no Boy Scout would steal my shit. What a concept. Hell, I thought, if I was to lose my wallet, it would turn up right? Some good "Boy Scout" would find it and return it to the proper authorities. Well, today, I realized that this ideal and the reality were two very separate concepts. During a nice poo, I believe my wallet fell out of my pants. It is, unfortunately, one of those things that happen. When I realized that it was gone, I immediately ran about trying to retrace my steps. By the time I had gotten back to the restrooms, the wallet had disappeared from the stall and was now sitting on top of a trash can. Empty. 240 dollars in cash gone. I was, of course devastated. So much money... So, some bastard stole it. Some opportunist decided he would rather pocket someone else's hard earned cash than find the proper owner. It happens. At least I got my ID back. And, my credit cards. But, I tell ya, I am disappointed in the institution. Its slipping.

In fact, I will conclude with a statement that the Boy Scouts are dying. They are dying for a variety of reasons. The first of course, is that anyone can be a Boy Scout now. Anyone, and if you try to prevent a fucked up kid from becoming one you have the parents to deal with. Scouting has become a quest to acquire a badge. You can work hard, as some do, or just go to special summer camps and earn a dozen in a week. The hardest trek here at Philmont is 104 miles in 10 days. Thats 10 miles a day, which is next to nothing as far as serious backpacking is concerned. The fathers of these campers are fat, unaccustomed to cardio workouts, and the worst whiners I have ever encountered. And yet, they are the role models. To make things worse, the Boy Scouts has become so lost in its traditions that it can not recreate itself so as to heal its old wounds and rebuild its strength.

Ya disappointed me, Scouts.