will be name of my new club. Techno in this corner, dance in that corner, trance over here, and of course, a mosh pit in the center!!!
The Grindhouse is the pavilion out behind the Conservation Dept. Office. While half of those on Work Crews left to go complete a campsite and build a trail to it, the rest of us sorry souls gathered to sharpen tools. And what tools they were! Picks! Maddox! Hazel Hoes! Log Tongs! Rock Bars! And they were all dull! So dull in fact that the Cons department broke out their finest grinders and said, "Have at 'em!"
So I became a Grinder. A metal working machine. I twisted my hat backwards, slipped on a pair of blades, pulled on my three finger gloves (don't judge, I find that it helps), grabbed the grinder and set to work. Water hissed as it met hot metal. Sparks flew as human grit and grinding gears tore into bent and jagged metal. Battle cries were released as men savagely prayed to their totems. And then the screams of metal on metal ended, and grimy fingers reached up to remove safety glasses. Sharp rays of sunlight were reflected off the gleaming metal. It was finished, it was perfect. And then we pulled it out of the vice, handed it to the next man, and put a new one in. And another. And another. The number of tools is both staggering and yet, almost but not quite overwhelming. Impossible to finish, and yet, almost within grasp. So we worked and sweated and glugged down great quantities of soda. We grew bored, frustrated, apathetic.
That is the Grindhouse. Work 7 and a half hours a day cleaning and sharpening. Come back as black and grimy as a coal worker. Find chunks of metal in your clothes. Note the countless, small pits in your blades formed by mini chunks of fire. Eat with both gusto and disgust as hunger overwhelms common sense (like all dining hall food, the food here is fried, full of carbs, and generally gross). Wake up in the morning and find new ways to put a bevel on a bitch hoe (an actual tool invented by one Richard Smith, combining the Pick and Hazel Hoe into one hell of a unit). Its not too exciting, its not enthralling, but damn! if it doesn't sound cool!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Boy Scouts
sometimes pretend to be men.
I was never a Boy Scout. I think my parents took me to one meeting when I was 10, and then promptly told me that I was not going to like it (It was also a long drive). Sure, my friends were in it. They talked about their retreats, the things they did. Oh, the fun they must have had. But, looking back, I'm kinda glad I didn't do it. Its just not my style. Too organized, too tradition bound, and just a little too silly.
So, why then did I sign up for a job where I was going to not only be surrounded by Boy Scouts 24/7, but also be expected to act like one too? I have no idea, it must have seemed like a good thing when I was planning my summer. Make money, see exotic places, meet exotic people, that kinda thing. Whatever, its over.
Anyways, I came to the conclusion just a while ago that Boy Scouts are not always the saints that they are made out to be. Most of them are riotous pranksters, almost all of them are pyros. Some enjoy helping others, but some take joy in denying participants even the slightest of pleasantries. Some are douches. Some are assholes. Some are "Boy Scouts". Some are girls. Its a damn mixed bag.
Take for instance, Jeffery, an Order of the Arrow Trail Crew leader. His job is to lead kids on a 14 day trek, where they build trails and go on hikes and stuff. He's the All-American type, never has a harsh word to say to anyone, always smiling, humble, and yet has done a great deal for his community. Oh, and he's both an Eagle Scout and a member of the Order of the Arrow. So, lets just say he is what people imagine when they think "Boy Scout".
Then take a man nicknamed, Kentucky. The man does not think before he speaks, curses as much as he breathes, and is generally a braggart and fool. He is a sexist and hates anyone who is not white, Protestant, or from America. He is a man who eats like a horse and looks like a pig. He will in one breath proclaim the glory of working in the outdoors, and in the next sigh as he decides that he just wants to sit and watch the rest toil. When I think Boy Scout, I do not think of him. And yet, he is one.
There are those who are gun rights advocates, those who carry ACLU memberships in their back pockets, those who love to cook and clean, those who love the roar of a chainsaw as they disappear in a cloud of wood chips, those who are fat, and those who are so skinny you wonder if they have done nothing but sit in front of a screen for hours on end each and ever day, those who are rebels, those who are model citizens, those who are fools, and those who are geniuses. When I look at the Boy Scouts, I realize, I am looking at what is American humanity. A cross section of the populace.
However, I always assumed that a Boy Scout was at least a little more honest than the rest of us. This of course, turns out to not be the case. At the end of every season at Philmont, the number of thefts sky rockets. Tents can not be locked, lockers can be easily broken into, and people leave their belongings in the open. And, of course, there are opportunists in the midst. In one way, I always thought my stuff was safer, because no Boy Scout would steal my shit. What a concept. Hell, I thought, if I was to lose my wallet, it would turn up right? Some good "Boy Scout" would find it and return it to the proper authorities. Well, today, I realized that this ideal and the reality were two very separate concepts. During a nice poo, I believe my wallet fell out of my pants. It is, unfortunately, one of those things that happen. When I realized that it was gone, I immediately ran about trying to retrace my steps. By the time I had gotten back to the restrooms, the wallet had disappeared from the stall and was now sitting on top of a trash can. Empty. 240 dollars in cash gone. I was, of course devastated. So much money... So, some bastard stole it. Some opportunist decided he would rather pocket someone else's hard earned cash than find the proper owner. It happens. At least I got my ID back. And, my credit cards. But, I tell ya, I am disappointed in the institution. Its slipping.
In fact, I will conclude with a statement that the Boy Scouts are dying. They are dying for a variety of reasons. The first of course, is that anyone can be a Boy Scout now. Anyone, and if you try to prevent a fucked up kid from becoming one you have the parents to deal with. Scouting has become a quest to acquire a badge. You can work hard, as some do, or just go to special summer camps and earn a dozen in a week. The hardest trek here at Philmont is 104 miles in 10 days. Thats 10 miles a day, which is next to nothing as far as serious backpacking is concerned. The fathers of these campers are fat, unaccustomed to cardio workouts, and the worst whiners I have ever encountered. And yet, they are the role models. To make things worse, the Boy Scouts has become so lost in its traditions that it can not recreate itself so as to heal its old wounds and rebuild its strength.
Ya disappointed me, Scouts.
I was never a Boy Scout. I think my parents took me to one meeting when I was 10, and then promptly told me that I was not going to like it (It was also a long drive). Sure, my friends were in it. They talked about their retreats, the things they did. Oh, the fun they must have had. But, looking back, I'm kinda glad I didn't do it. Its just not my style. Too organized, too tradition bound, and just a little too silly.
So, why then did I sign up for a job where I was going to not only be surrounded by Boy Scouts 24/7, but also be expected to act like one too? I have no idea, it must have seemed like a good thing when I was planning my summer. Make money, see exotic places, meet exotic people, that kinda thing. Whatever, its over.
Anyways, I came to the conclusion just a while ago that Boy Scouts are not always the saints that they are made out to be. Most of them are riotous pranksters, almost all of them are pyros. Some enjoy helping others, but some take joy in denying participants even the slightest of pleasantries. Some are douches. Some are assholes. Some are "Boy Scouts". Some are girls. Its a damn mixed bag.
Take for instance, Jeffery, an Order of the Arrow Trail Crew leader. His job is to lead kids on a 14 day trek, where they build trails and go on hikes and stuff. He's the All-American type, never has a harsh word to say to anyone, always smiling, humble, and yet has done a great deal for his community. Oh, and he's both an Eagle Scout and a member of the Order of the Arrow. So, lets just say he is what people imagine when they think "Boy Scout".
Then take a man nicknamed, Kentucky. The man does not think before he speaks, curses as much as he breathes, and is generally a braggart and fool. He is a sexist and hates anyone who is not white, Protestant, or from America. He is a man who eats like a horse and looks like a pig. He will in one breath proclaim the glory of working in the outdoors, and in the next sigh as he decides that he just wants to sit and watch the rest toil. When I think Boy Scout, I do not think of him. And yet, he is one.
There are those who are gun rights advocates, those who carry ACLU memberships in their back pockets, those who love to cook and clean, those who love the roar of a chainsaw as they disappear in a cloud of wood chips, those who are fat, and those who are so skinny you wonder if they have done nothing but sit in front of a screen for hours on end each and ever day, those who are rebels, those who are model citizens, those who are fools, and those who are geniuses. When I look at the Boy Scouts, I realize, I am looking at what is American humanity. A cross section of the populace.
However, I always assumed that a Boy Scout was at least a little more honest than the rest of us. This of course, turns out to not be the case. At the end of every season at Philmont, the number of thefts sky rockets. Tents can not be locked, lockers can be easily broken into, and people leave their belongings in the open. And, of course, there are opportunists in the midst. In one way, I always thought my stuff was safer, because no Boy Scout would steal my shit. What a concept. Hell, I thought, if I was to lose my wallet, it would turn up right? Some good "Boy Scout" would find it and return it to the proper authorities. Well, today, I realized that this ideal and the reality were two very separate concepts. During a nice poo, I believe my wallet fell out of my pants. It is, unfortunately, one of those things that happen. When I realized that it was gone, I immediately ran about trying to retrace my steps. By the time I had gotten back to the restrooms, the wallet had disappeared from the stall and was now sitting on top of a trash can. Empty. 240 dollars in cash gone. I was, of course devastated. So much money... So, some bastard stole it. Some opportunist decided he would rather pocket someone else's hard earned cash than find the proper owner. It happens. At least I got my ID back. And, my credit cards. But, I tell ya, I am disappointed in the institution. Its slipping.
In fact, I will conclude with a statement that the Boy Scouts are dying. They are dying for a variety of reasons. The first of course, is that anyone can be a Boy Scout now. Anyone, and if you try to prevent a fucked up kid from becoming one you have the parents to deal with. Scouting has become a quest to acquire a badge. You can work hard, as some do, or just go to special summer camps and earn a dozen in a week. The hardest trek here at Philmont is 104 miles in 10 days. Thats 10 miles a day, which is next to nothing as far as serious backpacking is concerned. The fathers of these campers are fat, unaccustomed to cardio workouts, and the worst whiners I have ever encountered. And yet, they are the role models. To make things worse, the Boy Scouts has become so lost in its traditions that it can not recreate itself so as to heal its old wounds and rebuild its strength.
Ya disappointed me, Scouts.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Boredom
Such a foolish word.
After the end of every run, we get three days of relaxation and chillaxation. While this may sound like a fun and rewarding end to 10 days of hard labor and long hours, it is actually a bland, painless, and wretched beginning to three days of uh, just plain old longness. I wake up, I eat, kill time till the next time I can eat, eat, kill time till the next time I can eat, eat, and go to sleep. I mean, like, I am bored shitless! Like literally, I just go shit just for the opportunity for something to do!
Well, thats a bit gross.
Boredom in and of itself is fine in small doses. It is just forces me to look for things to entertain myself with. Unfortunately, those options are few and far between here at good ol' Philmont. The entertainment is provided either on a computer screen or on a TV. And boy oh boy! They have cable! All kinds of shit is on the TV! Unfortunately, who the hell wants to watch it?! Nevermind, they have a lot of movies too! But, they are all on VHS (meaning circa 80's to 90's) and they are either about rebellious cops on the hunt for the killer of their family, and to also rescue their semi-retarded nephew who has been kidnapped for ransom, while simultaneously blowing up half of the city they are currently in. Needless to say, I think we made great social progress when we threw the writers of Escape from LA off of a cliff. While the handful of good DVD's provided entertainment early on, Lord of the Rings unfortunately gets old after the 16th viewing.
But wait! you say, surely there must be more to choose from! Well, I cry, there certainly is! I can easily go watch Avatar, the Last Airbender! For whatever reason, the nerds decide to take over a room each day, and watch Nickelodeon cartoons. There are just too many to push out, and besides, what else would I watch, Predator 2?
Well, I honestly don't watch much TV anyway, and the computer is restricted to, like, a few things... like email and facebook. So, early on, I figured I would just read. And read I did! I think I punched out 10 books this summer, going from classics like Catch-22 to slick and dark vampire books like Guillermo del Toro's The Strain. And, now, I feel burnt out. Just finished Stones into Schools, a must read by the way, if you enjoyed Three Cups of Tea, and tried to pick up Walden Pond. And couldn't. Just couldn't make myself read it.
Card games! Board games! Surely there must be something! But only dorks and socially awkward know it alls and religious nut jobs seem to play them. All they want is strict adherence to the rules and a poor soul to listen to them blabber about the age of the earth, how god does not love gays, and why Legolas is the most effective warrior ever, in the history of the fucking world! God damn them! All of 'em! Or just, uh, break their knees, so they will limp, and I can at least get away from them easily.
Sorry, too much hate? Whatever.
So, these past few days, I was bored. Like, super bored. So I watched Predator 2 and Avatar. So I sat down at the xbox and played a game of halo. Only one other controller, but, uh, whatever. So, I picked up Thoreau half a dozen times, read a page and said fuck it. So, I ate a hell of a lot of bad snack food, just cause I was so bored I just ate. Boredom sucks! I just sit there and force myself to do things I wouldn't normally do, just so my brain is in motion. I can't just watch clouds.
After the end of every run, we get three days of relaxation and chillaxation. While this may sound like a fun and rewarding end to 10 days of hard labor and long hours, it is actually a bland, painless, and wretched beginning to three days of uh, just plain old longness. I wake up, I eat, kill time till the next time I can eat, eat, kill time till the next time I can eat, eat, and go to sleep. I mean, like, I am bored shitless! Like literally, I just go shit just for the opportunity for something to do!
Well, thats a bit gross.
Boredom in and of itself is fine in small doses. It is just forces me to look for things to entertain myself with. Unfortunately, those options are few and far between here at good ol' Philmont. The entertainment is provided either on a computer screen or on a TV. And boy oh boy! They have cable! All kinds of shit is on the TV! Unfortunately, who the hell wants to watch it?! Nevermind, they have a lot of movies too! But, they are all on VHS (meaning circa 80's to 90's) and they are either about rebellious cops on the hunt for the killer of their family, and to also rescue their semi-retarded nephew who has been kidnapped for ransom, while simultaneously blowing up half of the city they are currently in. Needless to say, I think we made great social progress when we threw the writers of Escape from LA off of a cliff. While the handful of good DVD's provided entertainment early on, Lord of the Rings unfortunately gets old after the 16th viewing.
But wait! you say, surely there must be more to choose from! Well, I cry, there certainly is! I can easily go watch Avatar, the Last Airbender! For whatever reason, the nerds decide to take over a room each day, and watch Nickelodeon cartoons. There are just too many to push out, and besides, what else would I watch, Predator 2?
Well, I honestly don't watch much TV anyway, and the computer is restricted to, like, a few things... like email and facebook. So, early on, I figured I would just read. And read I did! I think I punched out 10 books this summer, going from classics like Catch-22 to slick and dark vampire books like Guillermo del Toro's The Strain. And, now, I feel burnt out. Just finished Stones into Schools, a must read by the way, if you enjoyed Three Cups of Tea, and tried to pick up Walden Pond. And couldn't. Just couldn't make myself read it.
Card games! Board games! Surely there must be something! But only dorks and socially awkward know it alls and religious nut jobs seem to play them. All they want is strict adherence to the rules and a poor soul to listen to them blabber about the age of the earth, how god does not love gays, and why Legolas is the most effective warrior ever, in the history of the fucking world! God damn them! All of 'em! Or just, uh, break their knees, so they will limp, and I can at least get away from them easily.
Sorry, too much hate? Whatever.
So, these past few days, I was bored. Like, super bored. So I watched Predator 2 and Avatar. So I sat down at the xbox and played a game of halo. Only one other controller, but, uh, whatever. So, I picked up Thoreau half a dozen times, read a page and said fuck it. So, I ate a hell of a lot of bad snack food, just cause I was so bored I just ate. Boredom sucks! I just sit there and force myself to do things I wouldn't normally do, just so my brain is in motion. I can't just watch clouds.
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